Am I ready or not?

I keep asking myself whether am I ready or not to be in relationship. The answer is Yes if the guy is the one that I like for a long time. Like our crush! but when it comes to a friend or anonymous or someone that we don't have feeling, I feel confuse. Sometimes kita suka, sometimes tak. So macam mana tu. Rasa macam tak ready pun ye. Tapi nak ada boyfriend. Bila dah orang suka, tak nak pulak. Haishh kadang kadang aku pun tak paham. Mana satu ni sebenarnya.

So the problem is a friend of mine likes me, but I don't know how to react, since kitaorg dah lama tak jumpa dan I've been single so long. Dah tak reti dah pun nk in love in love ni. I'm a very different person. I like a relationship yang not too serious and not too main-main. Just hit the flow. Kalau panjang jodohnya tak kemana. So just be like best friend where we can share everything. The thing is kalau dah suka lepas tu break or ditolak dah tak kawan. Tak best lah macam tu.

About this guy tak tahu la, hati ni rasa macam tak masuk je dengan dia. Bukan sebab rumah besar kecik, kaya miskin, pandai tak pandai, cantik hodoh or tinggi rendah. It just not the right time. Since kita pun baru je jejak kasih balik and first time cakap on the phone and texting each other, bila terus nk in relationship macam too early. Dah la hati ni ada rasa suka kat orang lain, I mean crush lah kan. Tiba-tiba "Dia" muncul. Lagi pun tak biasa lah kalau nk keluar-keluar sbb kira macam baru kenal lah jugak. Sebab dulu kat sekolah senyum-senyum, cakap skit2 macam tu je. Ni terus ha bamm! I really appreciate that you are looking for me for a long time since we finished school and you asked our old friend to find me. But they blurr, "Liyana yang mana satu", till that day you came to my open house and finally we met. Thank you so much. Ada juga la orang ingat kat kita, thought nobody cares about me :P

So tak tahu  la macam mana, semalam macam okay juga kalau cuba why not kan, tapi hari ni rasa macam alah kawan je lah. So how! Duh! Rasa nak sembahyang istiqarah pun ye. Padahal baru benda kecil, bukan nak kawen pun hahaha Liyana you're so funny! :P end of the story kalau dia call angkat, kalau dia msg balas and just be friend. Hah terkeluar pun. So be friend okay! Bukan jual mahal it just, I'm not ready, cause he sound so serious, kalau break kan dia kecewa haa lagi lah kesian.


p/s: sorry for the long post, I know beleter je memanjang. Kalau pasal hati dan perasaan tak sah kalau tak tulis panjang. :P *Well actually I miss him, not him yang kawan lama bertemu kembali, I mean him, ynag selalu duk cerita kat previous post. yang dah ada girlpreng tu -.-*