I'm sorry

I so-called in relationship with this guy, a friend of mine. I feel kesian lah kat dia. I treat him like nothing going on with us. While he, so care and love about me. Duh! This thing cannot go on anymore. I want to tell him I wanna break up, it just rasa tak sampai hati la nak cakap. So how. Kalau biar je, tak baik lah kita dah la tak ada perasaan, dia pulak bersungguh ingat kat kita, call, texting and so on. Tapi aku ni plain je tak de feeling langsung. When he ask whether I miss him or not, I can't say yes. Cause I don't miss him. So I replied "biasa je". I know dia kecewa bila jawap macam tu, what else I would say. Think I have a big problem now! and now he did'nt call me "awk" but he switch to other which every couple use. And I was like err!?!@#$%^&* I can't use that word. I don't feel like wanna use that. So I keep using "awk" instead of that word.

I feel very bad. Dah la dia masuk hospital. Tak sakit teruk pun., dia nak check mata je tapi apa tah kena stable darah and bla bla bla. I did not visit him once pun. So tadi dia call and text and I tak perasan. So dengan rasa bersalah I call him. For the first time! :P He asked me why I did not reply his msg, padahal tak dapat pun. Suara ceria je. Rupa-rupanya dah keluar hospital and dapat mc 4 hari. And siap ajak pegi jogging lagi. Lepas tu dia ckp phone rosak sbb tak dapat msg dia, padahal okay je. So now dia siap nk belikan nombor topup lagi for me. Dude I'm about to break off with you! Haa kau nak beli noombor pulak untuk aku. Aku pun cepat-cepat lah cakap tak payah. HAHAHA jahat gila. Ingat nk tunggu dia keluar hospital baru nk bagi tahu nk break, ye lah kang kena heart attack pulak hehe. Tgk-tgk dah keluar. So I will wait for a suitable time to tell him. Tapi susah wei! Grr! -.-